...dusting off this old blog, and picking it back up again after almost three years.
I have been through intense changes over the past few months, so I have a lot to say.
Of course, it is incredibly late right now, so the writing will have to come later.
Just wanted to share that I am back, and I am going to keep writing.
-Me
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Life changes.
Life can change in an instant.
You think things are pretty okay, then you get word that this person is sick, or that person has passed away. Life goes into a mad spiral, and your world is spinning too fast to hang on.
My mother got the results of her biopsy today, and they found pre-cancerous cells. It wasn't benign, but it wasn't completely malignant either. Pre-cancerous. It's scary for me to even think about. She has a tumor the size of an egg, and they have to take it out. Not sure when her surgery will be, but it will be soon, I would imagine. After she has it removed, a pathologist will be examining it, and deciding whether she'll need radiation or not. I'm scared, I will admit that. But I know that God is in control.
When I first found out about my diabetes, I was scared. I was spiralling into a state of terror of the unknown. Then, I prayed about it, for a long time, it seemed. It really was only a matter of days. I asked God to give me peace about it, and he did, and I'm praying he'll do the same for me in this situation.
I finally got my settlement check for my knee injury last year. I'm so incredibly thankful that my medical bills will be paid, and we can pay several other bills, and still have a nice amount left over. Our vacation will be paid in full, also. Yay for that. We're going to give a nice amount to the church, too. I know it's just like our income, so we'll tithe accordingly, and more on top of that. We're going to sit and write out the other things we need to get, and then the wants come last.
My parents will be visiting this weekend, so we'll take them out to lunch on Saturday and then Mom will help me get curtains for the upstairs bedrooms. I can't wait for that, our room will look more complete, I think. I am going to buy a down comforter for our room, too. Ooooh. Then on Monday, I'm going out with my mother in law and the kids, and we'll get Casey some sneakers, and some comfy shoes for me for walking, and then get some Autumn decorations for the house. I heart Autumn. What with the Halloween and birthday and all. The leaves, the cool air, it all is just delightful.
Well, that's about all I have for now. I'm off to get ready for bed.
Take care.
-Me
You think things are pretty okay, then you get word that this person is sick, or that person has passed away. Life goes into a mad spiral, and your world is spinning too fast to hang on.
My mother got the results of her biopsy today, and they found pre-cancerous cells. It wasn't benign, but it wasn't completely malignant either. Pre-cancerous. It's scary for me to even think about. She has a tumor the size of an egg, and they have to take it out. Not sure when her surgery will be, but it will be soon, I would imagine. After she has it removed, a pathologist will be examining it, and deciding whether she'll need radiation or not. I'm scared, I will admit that. But I know that God is in control.
When I first found out about my diabetes, I was scared. I was spiralling into a state of terror of the unknown. Then, I prayed about it, for a long time, it seemed. It really was only a matter of days. I asked God to give me peace about it, and he did, and I'm praying he'll do the same for me in this situation.
I finally got my settlement check for my knee injury last year. I'm so incredibly thankful that my medical bills will be paid, and we can pay several other bills, and still have a nice amount left over. Our vacation will be paid in full, also. Yay for that. We're going to give a nice amount to the church, too. I know it's just like our income, so we'll tithe accordingly, and more on top of that. We're going to sit and write out the other things we need to get, and then the wants come last.
My parents will be visiting this weekend, so we'll take them out to lunch on Saturday and then Mom will help me get curtains for the upstairs bedrooms. I can't wait for that, our room will look more complete, I think. I am going to buy a down comforter for our room, too. Ooooh. Then on Monday, I'm going out with my mother in law and the kids, and we'll get Casey some sneakers, and some comfy shoes for me for walking, and then get some Autumn decorations for the house. I heart Autumn. What with the Halloween and birthday and all. The leaves, the cool air, it all is just delightful.
Well, that's about all I have for now. I'm off to get ready for bed.
Take care.
-Me
Friday, September 7, 2007
annonymity.
You know, I think I like the fact that no one is really reading this. If they are, they're really not making themselves known. Maybe this way, I can just say what I feel and not feel badly about it, or worry about upsetting someone.
I'm having a very off day, I'm obsessing about things, and I'm just feeling really down. I'm also fairly dizzy and hazy feeling. I got into a bit of a tiff with my husband, and we got into that subject that comes back to bite us in the butt. I voiced my feelings to him, and probably hurt his feelings in the process. I feel badly about that, I just needed to get things off my chest. I feel so overwhelmed emotionally. I feel like, why me, why do I have to keep suffering through all this BS? I realize there's a lot of me and I and that sentence, so my focus isn't where it should be.
I feel like I was begging God last night to help me, to show me the way. I feel like he's not listening, though I know that's not true. I'm just not going about it in the right way. I'm coming at Him angry, and filled with fear and emotion, when I should be humbled and needy, weak and broken. That's all I am, a broken sinner, saved by grace. I need to keep that in the forefront of my mind.
I feel like I am so alone in so many ways. I know I have a great family and a great church. Aside from that, I feel like I have no real close friends. I feel like the ones I do have are probably tired of hearing about my issues. I have lost one of my best friends this year, due to her wanting to live her life selfishly, rather than love her family and friends. I don't feel close to anyone here really, other than a few, and even they don't seem too anxious to offer their shoulder to cry on. I realize I'm probably asking for way too much. I expect far too much from them. I guess I just go by how I operate. When my friends need me, I'm there for them, 100%, if they want or need it. I go the extra mile to comfort them and offer help in any way that I can. Now I feel like, wow...where is the love? I realize I'm probably the one who should be reaching out here, but do you ever just feel like you've reached out so many times, that you just can't do it anymore? Yeah, that's where I am right now.
Ugh. This is depressing, but it feels good to get it out.
My husband wants to take me to dinner, my son is going to spend the evening with his Nonna. I need to get myself looking appropriate for public viewing. I'm fairly sure my grubby t-shirt and yellow floral pants won't cut it.
More later, when I return.
-Me
I'm having a very off day, I'm obsessing about things, and I'm just feeling really down. I'm also fairly dizzy and hazy feeling. I got into a bit of a tiff with my husband, and we got into that subject that comes back to bite us in the butt. I voiced my feelings to him, and probably hurt his feelings in the process. I feel badly about that, I just needed to get things off my chest. I feel so overwhelmed emotionally. I feel like, why me, why do I have to keep suffering through all this BS? I realize there's a lot of me and I and that sentence, so my focus isn't where it should be.
I feel like I was begging God last night to help me, to show me the way. I feel like he's not listening, though I know that's not true. I'm just not going about it in the right way. I'm coming at Him angry, and filled with fear and emotion, when I should be humbled and needy, weak and broken. That's all I am, a broken sinner, saved by grace. I need to keep that in the forefront of my mind.
I feel like I am so alone in so many ways. I know I have a great family and a great church. Aside from that, I feel like I have no real close friends. I feel like the ones I do have are probably tired of hearing about my issues. I have lost one of my best friends this year, due to her wanting to live her life selfishly, rather than love her family and friends. I don't feel close to anyone here really, other than a few, and even they don't seem too anxious to offer their shoulder to cry on. I realize I'm probably asking for way too much. I expect far too much from them. I guess I just go by how I operate. When my friends need me, I'm there for them, 100%, if they want or need it. I go the extra mile to comfort them and offer help in any way that I can. Now I feel like, wow...where is the love? I realize I'm probably the one who should be reaching out here, but do you ever just feel like you've reached out so many times, that you just can't do it anymore? Yeah, that's where I am right now.
Ugh. This is depressing, but it feels good to get it out.
My husband wants to take me to dinner, my son is going to spend the evening with his Nonna. I need to get myself looking appropriate for public viewing. I'm fairly sure my grubby t-shirt and yellow floral pants won't cut it.
More later, when I return.
-Me
Thursday, September 6, 2007
The beginning.
Like many others that I know, I'm now taking the plunge into the world of blogspot. I used to have a blog here through my school group of friends, but I let it lapse. I am hoping I don't do the same with this one, but what can you do?
I don't have much to say today, after the day I had yesterday. Yesterday, my whole world changed. I found out that I have Type II Diabetes. It was quite a punch in the stomach, to say the least. They also told me that my LFTs (liver function tests) were elevated, so I have to hae a stupid ultrasound of my abdomen next Thursday. The kicker to that is, I have to fast for six hours prior to the test. SIX HOURS. My appointment is at 1:30 pm!! Which means after 7:30 am, I cannot have anything to eat OR drink for six hours! I don't know how I'm going to do this, I told her I was just diagnosed with Diabetes, and she said she could try to get me in sooner, but there was nothing. I have to have the test before my follow up with the doctor on the 19th. I feel really apprehensive and kind of scared, but I'm trying to rely on God, and not worry about it. It's hard, but most of the time I can stay pretty distracted and focus on good things.
We are having some friends over for dinner tonight, which is good, though I'm feeling slightly stressed about it. It should be fine, though. I'm making this awesome chicken called Anniversary Chicken. It's only got 6.9 grams of carbs per serving!! Yep, gotta check the carb count on everything now. I'll probably make a big salad, too, to have with it, so I don't feel so deprived.
Well, I better get to prepping the things I need and get showered and ready. I just wanted to make my very first post.
Have a good one.
-Me
I don't have much to say today, after the day I had yesterday. Yesterday, my whole world changed. I found out that I have Type II Diabetes. It was quite a punch in the stomach, to say the least. They also told me that my LFTs (liver function tests) were elevated, so I have to hae a stupid ultrasound of my abdomen next Thursday. The kicker to that is, I have to fast for six hours prior to the test. SIX HOURS. My appointment is at 1:30 pm!! Which means after 7:30 am, I cannot have anything to eat OR drink for six hours! I don't know how I'm going to do this, I told her I was just diagnosed with Diabetes, and she said she could try to get me in sooner, but there was nothing. I have to have the test before my follow up with the doctor on the 19th. I feel really apprehensive and kind of scared, but I'm trying to rely on God, and not worry about it. It's hard, but most of the time I can stay pretty distracted and focus on good things.
We are having some friends over for dinner tonight, which is good, though I'm feeling slightly stressed about it. It should be fine, though. I'm making this awesome chicken called Anniversary Chicken. It's only got 6.9 grams of carbs per serving!! Yep, gotta check the carb count on everything now. I'll probably make a big salad, too, to have with it, so I don't feel so deprived.
Well, I better get to prepping the things I need and get showered and ready. I just wanted to make my very first post.
Have a good one.
-Me
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